Esoteric
by Lothian
Summary: Her powers and memories had been taken for the good of Soul Society. But the closer she becomes to Ichigo, the more flashes of what was come to her mind. Just like watching a train crash, two worlds collide. IchiHime.
1. Synchroneity

"She won't remember us, will she?" It was Rukia who spoke, her voice quivering slightly, giving away the emotion she was trying to suppress.

Ishida shifted involuntarily, his eyes much more moist than usual, as if he were trying to keep some emotional tidal waved down.

Ukitake's own dark chocolaty eyes gazed at the group of friends pitifully.

"No, she won't. It's for the best."

"But… why?" Rukia's voice grew smaller each time she spoke, until now it was just a whisper.

"We've explained this to you before. If anyone were to get wind of Orihime Inoue's powers again, there could be another incident like the one where she was kidnapped. Count yourselves lucky you all survived Hueco Mundo episode unscathed. Next time you might not be so lucky. It's in everyone's best interests that we stamp out her powers, and it's just unlucky that she forgets you. But we have to take the interests of Soul Society into account." Ukitake finished with a small cough. The situation obviously wasn't the ideal one for him either.

Ichigo's fists clenched, nails digging in to his palms. He didn't care. The pain was a distraction.

"It's not like you won't see her again. She will still go to your school. You will just have to start the relationship again. But if you ever try to tell her about yourselves… You know what will happen."

Renji shifted imperceptibly.

"Now." Another voice spoke. Kuchiki Byakuya had crept up on them silently.

"It's time for you to go, I believe. Orihime Inoue will arrive in your world on Tuesday. We will be transporting with many guards, and while she is under sedation. She will be fine on Wednesday."

Ukitake nodded encouragingly at the group.

**…**

It was peculiar lying in his own bed, when Ichigo was so used to not sleeping. His mind was now turning over the events in Hueco Mundo. Ulquiorra. Orihime. Soul Society. Her screams as they cornered her and dragged her away.

Ichigo cursed. So powerless. So helpless.

He had promised to protect her. And to an extent he had. He had saved her. But he hadn't been able to save her from herself. Hadn't been able to save her from Soul Society. So _pathetic_.

**…**

School.

He had been going to school normally for the past two days, but this was different. Today was…

Ishida glanced at the calendar. January the twelfth.

Wednesday. Orihime would be at school. But she would look right through them. She would not recognize him.

**…**

It was like seeing a ghost, thought Chad, watching the red-haired girl introducing herself to the class. She looked exactly the same. The only thing, which was missing, was her hair-clips. They had been taken from her. Instead Orihime wore her hair in a plait. Her deep gray eyes were still the same, still curious and searching, looking right through a person.

She sat down only a few seats away from him. He couldn't help staring at her. She looked so every-day, so utterly normal. It unnerved him somewhat.

**…**

Ichigo gazed at the back of her head. She was sitting directly in front of him. Her hair reflected the sunlight. He wondered if he were to open up her head, if he'd see a big hole, which he and his friends had occupied. Or maybe there would be a fake story in its place. Another set of friends, another set of experiences.

"Excuse me!" She had turned around, catching him off-guard.

"Do you have a pencil, uhh…?"

"Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

She offered him a super nova smile.

"Kurosaki-kun."

**…**

_"Don't die, KUROSAKI-KUN!"_

**…**

"Yeah, sure." He gave her a pencil, their fingertips brushing.

"Thank you." She offered him another smile.

**…**

"_Why?" Rukia asked softly. She posed the question carefully, for right now, she had the feeling she was treading on egg shells._

_"Why what?" Ichigo asked irritably, obviously in an extremely foul mood._

_"Why did you want to save her so desperately? What was it that ate so greatly away at your conscience, that you turned in to a monster to save her? Was it guilt? What was it, Ichigo?" Rukia's deep plum-coloured eyes looked searchingly at him, attempting to find something well hidden, something that Ichigo had buried in the wasteland of his mind, in a box of things he'd rather not think about._

_"It's not guilt. It's probably a selfish reason. But I wanted to get this whole protecting thing right a second time. You made me make that promise to her, do you remember?"_

_Rukia did. She had made him say it to Orihime's face, rather than him keeping it all locked up. _

_"I do remember."_

_"Well… I made that promise once before. Years ago. When I was much, much younger. But this time, I wanted to get it right. But it seems no matter how hard I try I always screw it all up. I'm never…." And here Ichigo clenched his fists, his knuckles white. "I'm never fucking strong enough for anyone! I can never save them! They always slip through my fingers like water!" _

_"Ichigo…"_

_Ichigo ignored her._

_"Who did you make that promise to the first time?"_

_Ichigo looked at her, and a very peculiar expression was shown in his eyes, sadness and a raging bitterness. _

_"I made that promise to my mother."_

**…**

Rukia knew she didn't have many friends in Soul Society, except for Renji. It was lonely, but up until that point she had been happy. Orihime had been training with her regularly. She had gained a friend. And not just any friend; she was a girl. Rukia was used to being surrounded by men, and there had been something relaxing about having another female around. Orihime had made her laugh, had cooked her strange meals, had eaten ice cream with her, had water fights, and now it was all gone. All taken away from her. Every experience deleted, and replaced by false ones. And all because Orihime's powers were not ordinary.

Rukia sighed, and tipped her head back to watch the clouds.

**…**

_Another scream rang out across the chamber as yet another memory was torn from Orihime's mind. Nemu could not help but wince. This time the memory was a strange silvery blue colour, and when Nemu bottled it, she saw images of the night Orihime must have been kidnapped. She felt a desperate torn feeling, a desperate longing, and a loneliness that must have eaten Orihime alive._

_Yet another scream echoed around the walls, as yet another experience was ripped from Orihime's body, to be again placed in a jar. Bottled memories. _

_"Nemu!" Mayuri's harsh voice rang out across the chamber, his footsteps echoing eerily. _

_"Yes, Mayuri-sama?"_

_"Can't you find a way of making her quiet? I'm getting a migraine."_

_"This is as quiet as it gets, Mayuri-sama." _

_Mayuri's eybrow twitched in annoyance. _

_"Fine. Where are the specimen's weapon?"_

_"In case 73FX Mayuri-sama." _

_"Good." Mayuri strode towards the glass case and peered hungrily inside._

_"This must be some sort of joke, Nemu! Look at how fragile the actual form in which the power is st-"  
_

_He was interrupted by another shriek from Orihime._

_"Damn it all Nemu, I'm really getting irritated now."_

_"My apologies Mayuri-sama. I will see to it."_

_Nemu walked towards the center of the room, where chains and cuffs, which glowed an eerie green light bound Orihime down to the seal, which was burned into the floor. _

_Her autumn-coloured hair lay in a pool around her head, rather like a halo. Her eyes were frightened and blank._

_Nemu retrieved a cloth from her robes and made to tie it around Orihime's mouth._

_"S-sor…y U-Ulquior…ra…" Nemu stopped. This was a part of the final stage. The victim would try to say things, which they held for important, even though they no longer knew the significance of these words. _

_"S… Sorry… R-Ruki… a… Ish… da… C-Cha…d… R-Renji…"_

_Nemu made to tie the cloth around Orihime's mouth, but not before Orihime managed to utter one last name._

_"K… Kuro… saki… kun. S-sorry." _

**…**

Ichigo gazed at Orihime and Tatsuki. Tatsuki's mind along with the rest of the humans who had been forced to be involved had been wiped, but not quite as strongly as Orihime's.

Orihime was a blank. And now Ichigo watched silently as their friendship began again. A new beginning. A blank canvas to draw a new story on.

"Iiiiiiiii- Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- Gooooooooooooooo!" Ichigo acted out of instinct, and raised a fist. Sure enough It made contact with a face, sending Keigo sprawling to the floor.

"As accurate as ever, Ichigo!" he said admiringly through a bloody nose.

"Ichigo." Asano greeted him politely, smiling slightly.

"Would you like to go and eat lunch now?"

"Yeah, sure." Ichigo cast one final look at Orihime who was now gazing curiously at Tatsuki, who was showing her karate moves. No doubt Orihime would pick it up quickly.

Ishida and Chad joined the three and they made their way up the long flight of stairs to the roof-top, where they could eat quietly, and undisturbed by the rest of the class.

**…**

It was an accident that Ichigo found himself walking home with Orihime. She had smiled when he told her where he lived and told him she went right past his house. And so Ichigo now found himself in the slightly uncomfortable situation of being accompanied home by her. However she made it easy for him, she chattered away happily, not bothered that he didn't say much, as she spoke enough for the two of them. She told him she worked in a flower-shop part time, which made him smile somewhat. Orihime had always reminded him of flowers and rosebuds.

She explained she had moved here from Tokyo, because she had always wanted to live in the countryside.

Ichigo couldn't help but feel uncomfortable when she told him her account of how things had turned out in her life, as he couldn't help but remember how it had really been, and why she was really here now.

"Neh, Kurosaki-kun, you look really grumpy." She remarked suddenly.

"I do not." He said defiantly.

"I always look like this."

"That's bad, you'll get really deep creases in your face!" Here she took the opportunity to poke his forehead.

"Right here!" she said while doing so.

"I'm doing alright so far." He said unconcernedly.

"That's what you say now!" she said giving him another smile.

"But you know, you're using a lot of muscles in your face! When you smile you use much less! Try smiling."

Ichigo was left a bit speechless. Orihime had always been like this, it was true, but it was unnerving to experience it when you knew about her memory being wiped. Ichigo had assumed her personality would have changed with her memories. Assumed wrongly, it was now clear.

Unwillingly he smiled.

Orihime nodded encouragingly but then her expression changed and she smiled somewhat sadly.

"You have a funny face, Kurosaki-kun."

**…**

_"I seriously don't get why you like him Orihime! You could have anyone and you chose grumpy old Ichigo! He never smiles! You're both complete opposites!"_

_"Ah, but you see Tatsuki-chan! Kurosaki-kun has a funny face." And then Orihime did that typical thing where she day dreamed, and suddenly started laughing, no doubt imagining the many funny faces of Ichigo._

**…**

"Well, see you tomorrow, Kurosaki-kun!" And with that Orihime was gone, skipping in to the sun-set.

"Should I walk you home?" Ichigo called after her.

"No, no! I have to run! My favorite show is on!" And she continued to half-run, half skip down the street, her copper hair flowing behind her.

'Déjà vu.' The phrase came instantly to Ichigo's troubled mind, as he recalled the first time he had really spoken to Orihime. He had also offered to walk her home, and she had also said no, because her favorite TV show was on.

A small, sad smile tugged at the corners of Ichigo's mouth. Nostalgia, Ichigo had yet to learn was the most bittersweet and the most dangerous emotion. It could eat people alive.

**CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS APPRECIATED! Thank you.**


	2. Nebulous

**TO REVIEWERS ;) : **

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**I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER! :)**

**

* * *

**

Orihime turned on her side, and stretched. The sunlight hit her face, making her squint in the sudden light. She had been having a strange dream about fairies she remembered. Fairies who could heal anything. She smiled somewhat, it had been a funny dream.

Yawning she stood up, her red hair hanging like a waterfall down her back. She made her way over to the window, where she could see over the tops of buildings. The sky was a golden colour. She smiled, and made her way over to the bathroom to get ready for school.

**…**

_"NO! STOP IT!" Orihime's shriek rang loud through the air of Las Noches, her voice carrying up to where Ichigo was being held, powerless to stop the blow that was about to come._

_And explosion ripped through the air. And Ichigo could not feel anything anymore, could not see anything, his vision swallowed by a blinding whiteness – a nothingness. He could hear his heartbeat slow down. And stop. But somehow he was still there. Or maybe he wasn't. He couldn't remember._

_"Pathetic." His inner hollow taunted him now._

_"Shut up."_

_"Really pathetic. You can't save her now, can you?"_

_Anger boiled in Ichigo's blood. He wanted to lash out at that smirking voice but couldn't, because he had no body to do so._

_"I don't know what to do anymore." Her voice rang out through the chamber of nothingness, and suddenly Ichigo felt heavier._

_"I just don't know anymore." She was crying._

_Please don't cry. _Please_... _Please _don't cry..._

_"ISHIDA!" Her cry echoed through the nothingness, and Ichigo could feel his body slowly returning._

_"ISHIDA!" Again. She was terrified._

_"HELP ME, KUROSAKI-KUN!" She was desperate. She was breaking down._

_'Stand up… I have to… Stand… Up… I must stand… Up… I will… I will… I WILL PROTECT HER!' And Ichigo could feel the heaviness of his body returning. Could feel the air hit his lungs, could feel the rush of wind again. But he wasn't in control._

_'I will… save her…'_

_"Kuro… Kurosaki… Kun?"_

**…**

Ichigo woke with a start. His heart was beating faster than usual. He could still see Orihime, covered in her comrades' blood, her ocean-like eyes enormous with fear.

He went to the bathroom, splashing his face vigorously with ice-cold water, trying to wash away the memory of her fear. Drying his face he glanced out of the window. The sky was gold. Just like Orihime's aura had been. A warm comforting colour, not one meant for battles and bloodshed. His ribcage suddenly felt a size too small. He let out a breath.

**…**

Orihime watched the snow fall gently down, spiraling sometimes, falling in arches. It reminded Orihime of someone. But she couldn't remember whom. All she remembered was a pair of deep plum coloured eyes. She shook her head.

"Orihime!" A voice sounded across the classroom.

"Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime beamed at her friend.

"Didn't you bring gloves? Your hands are all pink with cold. That's pretty stupid of you Orihime."

"I'm not stupid!"

Tatsuki's eyes widened.

**…**

_"ARE YOU STUPID?"_

_Orihime's face fell._

_"How rude, I am not stupid."_

_"You should have seized the opportunity when he asked to walk you home!"_

**…**

Gray eyes swam in front of Tatsuki's vision.

"Tatsuki-chan? Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Tatsuki blinked in confusion, the classroom coming back into focus.

"I'm fine!" She smiled reassuringly at Orihime who looked relieved.

"Can we go and make a snowman during lunchbreak?" She asked hopefully.

Tatsuki glanced out of the window.

"Oh alright, but if I freeze to death you'll have to give me your coat."

**…**

Ichigo watched Orihime and Tatsuki interact, frowning slightly when Tatsuki seemed to be shocked by something.

"Stalker."

"Good to see you too Ishida."

Ishida sat down next to Ichigo, looking down at him coldly.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Ichigo glared at him.

"Because, dumbass, you should know it's not that simple. She nearly died because of me."

Ishida's eyes softened.

"Because of us, Kurosaki."

Ichigo blinked, somewhat shocked that Ishida would want to admit to that.

"My point. We nearly killed her."

**…**

Renji had been training more than ever lately, his palms were now blistered and saw, his muscles screamed in protest whenever he began doing sit-ups and his back ached terribly. But it was better than doing nothing, and letting himself start daydreaming about the past. At least he now had something to distract him from his thoughts on Las Noches and the girl who was Orihime Inoue.

Fair enough, he had never had much to do with the girl, but there had always been something very likeable about her. She had made him laugh when he felt like shit. She had brightened up everyone else's day when she couldn't find the courage to brighten up her own. She was something else. But if she started remembering them, or if someone told her about her past, she would be sentenced to death. And so Renji sought distraction, trying to prevent himself from thinking about the sentence that would await her, and hoping against hope that his friends wouldn't try to make her remember them. And so Renji trained, for distraction.

**…**

Ukitake frowned at the lone figure in the distance. Kuchiki Rukia had never been popular in his squad. People had whispered behind her back. They had known that the only reason she was allowed in a squad at all was because she was a Kuchiki. They could buy their way into anything. But it hadn't been the case with Rukia. Sure, she had never been as strong as the rest o the squad, but she had proven them wrong in the recent battles. Had shown her full potential. And the squad thirteen resented her for that.

Ukitake sighed; his head was beginning to ache.

**…**

Orihime was building a snowman, rolling the ball of snow along the white ground, in order to make it much bigger. Her fingers were numb with cold, but she really didn't mind. This was relaxing, creating something from nothing.

"I'm going to make a snow bunny Tatsuki."

"Oh-kay. Not a snowman?"

"Nope!" Orihime chirped cheerfully. She started to mold the ears, humming softly. And then it happened.

**…**

_Orihime was humming softly to herself, a lullaby her brother sometimes sung. Snowflakes got caught on her long lashes and in her red hair._

_"Orihime?" Orihime glanced up at her brother._

_"Look big brother! A snow bunny!" She smiled up at him, seeking approval._

_"Very good Orihime-chan. He looks very happy."_

_But something was worrying Orihime._

_"Big brother do you think he'll get cold?" Orihime's brother looked down at the rabbit, and then he handed Orihime his scarf._

_"Put it on. He won't get cold with a scarf."_

_Orihime smiled up at her brother._

_"Thank you."_

_But then the scene changed._

_"YOU BELONG TO ME, ORIHIME!" And there was blood spattering the walls, and there was someone else, standing in front of her, shielding her from the monster who was her brother._

_"S-Sora?"_

**…**

"Orihime?"

Orihime's eyes looked vacant.

"Hey… Orihime?" Tatsuki poked her, afraid of shocking her.

"Hmm?"

"You must be too cold to think properly. Told you, you needed gloves."

And with that Tatsuki seized Orihime and dragged her back towards school.

**…**

Orihime was dreaming.

_Blood was dripping off the walls. Orihime was running towards someone who had fallen. A girl with long dark hair tied up in two bunches. She slipped in an oily pool of blood, and the white linen she was wearing stained a sickly crimson colour._

_The girl was breathing shallowly, her mouth opened and closed, but Orihime could not hear her._

_"…monster!"_

_She was a monster?_

_"Monster!"_

_She was a…_

_"MONSTER!"_

_A…._

_"MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTER!"_

Orihime awoke with a jolt. Sweat trickled unpleasantly down her back, between her shoulder blades, and for a moment she thought it was the blood in the dream. She rubbed at her back vigorously, feeling slightly skittish. She glanced around her room. Yes, she was still in her bedroom, safe and alone.

Alone.

The word did not sound safe, yet here she was, alone, unharmed. She closed her eyes, allowed her breathing to even out, and eventually, she fell asleep again, into a dreamless state.

**…**

Ichigo could not sleep. Out of sheer desperation, he decided to take a walk.

His breath created crystallized clouds, each taking on a different shape, as the drifted in front of him. Moving was doing him good. It gave him something to concentrate on doing. Just one step after the other, he kept repeating to himself.

He found himself walking past Orihime's house. Or maybe he had planned to do so all along. He wasn't sure. Everything was so strange.

Ichigo might pick up his daily routine like a missed stitch, but when he was alone in the shower, or in the interstitial space between waking and sleep, Ichigo would find himself shaking uncontrollably, the way you do when you've swerved to avoid an accident and have to pull to the side of the road, just to make sure you are really in one piece.

He gazed up at Orihime's apartment, but the darkened rooms gave no sign of life away, gave no hint that just at that moment Orihime had woken up from a nightmare, and so Ichigo walked on, too preoccupied to realize that maybe his friend did need help. Just like the first time.

**…**

Ishida looked over at Orihime, and with a shock realized that, even though they were only five feet away from one another, they might as well have been on different continents.

"Ishida-kun is it?" Orihime enquired, her big grey eyes looking at him out of curiosity. Her eyes reminded him of oceans, not because of the colour, but because of he depth.

"Yes." He said. He wanted to say more, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"I've heard you sew." It was a statement not a question.

"I do." Ishida cursed himself for sounding so awkward.

But then a big pink pair blocked his vision.

"Do you think you could fix him?" Her eyes looked imploringly up at him. There was a tear just above the bear's eye, and a bit of the stuffing hung out limply.

"I have no idea what I did, but I woke up today and I saw the stuffing had come out, he might have been liked this for ages and I didn't realize!" Ishida absorbed this information, gazing at Orihime's guilt-ridden face. She was, extraordinarily like a child. Too innocent for her own good.

"I'll see what I can do." He said and offered her a smile, which she returned. He gently prized the bear out of her hands. Their hands touched, and instantly a memory sprang to Ishida's mind.

**…**

_"If you change your mind, Ishida-kun, you can come and train with us… any time, okay?"_

_'Thank you Orihime… But I have to do this alone.'_

**…**

Once again, Ichigo had not meant to walk home with Orihime, but here he was, yet again stuck in the same situation. He wouldn't have minded, if she could still remember the things they had experienced together. But she was… A blank slate. Sometimes he wanted to shake her, in the vain hope that her memories which had been taken would come rushing back. It was a stupid notion.

"Neh, Kurosaki-kun, do you like sledging?" The question came out of the blue.

"Umm… I guess it's alright." He never wanted to give away too much information to this girl. He would rather keep it all to himself, for fear of exposing him and his friends.

"Would you like to come with me and Tatsuki?"

For a moment, Ichigo had hoped that she would say, "Would you like to come with me?" and leave the Tatsuki part out. But no.

"Yeah, maybe."

Orihime looked up at him. Her eyes were so deep. They reminded Ichigo of nightfall and mirrors and the edge of winter. The colour that filled the sky before a storm.

"Are you okay, Kurosaki-kun?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He lied.

For a moment she looked as though she wanted to question him further, but thought better of it.

"Kurosaki-kun… Your house is uhh… back there." She said, pointing to his house. In his musings he had walked right past it. He flushed.

"Oh, right, sorry."

She smiled. " No problem. And then she placed a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye again. Ichigo caught a faint scent of autumn – like apple and cider and slanting sun and the snap of the coming cold. He felt his heart scrambling, caught inside the confines of his body.

"Take care of yourself, Kurosaki-kun." She was so close, he could taste her words, sweet as mint on her breath.

And then she was gone, running to watch her favorite TV show.

Ichigo's gaze followed her in to the distance, attempting to figure out what it was that she had meant.

* * *

**Constructive criticism is always appreciated. :) **


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